Whatever Souls Are Made Of

by Strawberry Riot

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released December 13, 2015

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Strawberry Riot New Mexico

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Track Name: This Is Not A Good Song
This is so lame
I haven't been the same
Since I came back from the West Coast
And my best friend had become a ghost
His bloody footprints left a trail
We took him to the hospital
And I went to Mikaela's
Just to sort out my denial

So this is not a sad song
It's a song for all the things I did not know there were no names for

I made a new friend it was great
Someone whom I could relate
We talked about free pizza
And the government and magic
Then something happened it was strange
I came back my feelings changed
And maybe yours did too
But they did not remain

So this is not a love song
It's a song for all the things I did not know there were no names for

Call it 'down in the dumps' or feeling blue
It's the same old thing that we all go through
The ubiquitous moaning, the heartache and groaning
Is not unique to me or you

So this is not a positive song
It's just a message in a bottle and I'm sending it along
And it's not even a good song
It's just words for the emotions I can't put my finger on
Track Name: Waltz In Minor Arcana
Cards on the table I was told to choose
There is no dice and you cannot lose
But I've been told the future's in your hands
That life happens when you're making other plans

Lucky star show me the way to the crisscross in the road
Where I will trade my life away to let my lover kill my soul

I've been tracing circles for a year
To ward off every ghost
But my hands they muse me night and day
And that one haunts the most

Lucky star show me the way to the crisscross in the road
Where I will trade my life away to let my lover kill my soul
Track Name: Untitled
I sold some pills last week to someone on the street
And I used the money on a hotel and a couple of CD's
And I know I'm a hypocrite because I say I'm straight edge
But goddamn if my morals aren't corrupted
I broke down and I nearly self destructed
I'm trying to self medicate the problems I exaggerate

So I think I'm just as bad as all you junkies and I think I'm just as fucked up as the rest and I think I might be dying but it's temporary being all alone is scary I could use a friend right now

Someone offered to go down on me just for fun
And I said I'd love to stay and chat but I think I've gotta run
And I know I'm a hypocrite because I say I'm lonely
For attention but it's all because I'm only
One person and I am my own company
Being by myself is what I call therapy

So I think I'm just as bad as all you junkies and I think I'm just as fucked up as the rest and I think I might be dying but it's temporary being all alone is scary I could use a friend right now

I'm trying to calm down and come down from this high
But I might be running in circles I might be too sick to survive
And I know I'm a hypocrite because my optimism
Overwhelms me and defeats my self destruction
I feel chubby but I'm going through starvation
I hate doctors but I still take medication


So I think I'm just as bad as all you junkies and I think I'm just as fucked up as the rest and I think I might be dying but it's temporary being all alone is scary I could use a friend right now
Track Name: Poly Wanna Cracker
So here's the deal I think I left a piece of my heart in the cab of a pickup truck
And I was too drunk to remember lying but the next day left all my friends crying

And I wish you would have told me it was all just temporary I really didn't want it to end
But I fuck over all my family and I fuck all my friends

So here's the deal I think I'd like to like a little bit more I'm not promiscuous and I don't play so don't try to score but I like people and I like love I'm always giving it out like mix-tapes hope you like em
And now I now without a doubt

I think I leave a little piece of my heart
In every state and every place I go
I think sometimes overcompensate for the things that I don't know
I hope you take good care of me when when I choose to make your couch my home
And when I leave this place again you'll know a piece of me is not alone

So here's the deal I know I don't really have shit figured out but see I'm working on it every day and someday I'll find out how to not rely on everyone so heavily and I'll pay back the things I owe and help others in need

I think I left a little piece of my heart in a hammock with a children's book character
They were telling me to finish my whiskey and they were headed for California
And kissing me softly under the second star on the right
Huddled in the cold all damn night

I think I leave a little piece of my heart
In every state and every place I go
I think sometimes overcompensate for the things that I don't know
I hope you take good care of me when when I choose to make your couch my home
And when I leave this place again you'll know a piece of me is not alone
Track Name: From Anchorage To Maui
You were saving up money for a land of milk and honey
To chase all the honeys
And do like bunnies
And it seems like there should be a better explanation
To go on vacation
But if that's your motivation

And I said "I'll miss you"
And you said "you can come too"
But that's a lie and you know why
It's something that I can't do

You can't hop a train to Hawaii
And I can't catch you on the fly
You can't hop a train to Hawaii oh why oh why do I even try?

And wouldn't it be nice if I were able to hitchhike
Or gas-jug or ride my bike
But to be more specific if dates are really more prolific
Across the pacific

Then I don't know maybe you're on to something, I mean do you have a radar detector for pheromones that you just follow around the country because if so I'd really like go borrow it, but I would need a plane ticket Because nobody had invented a way to hop American Airlines yet

You can't hop a train to Hawaii
And I can't catch you on the fly
You can't hop a train to Hawaii oh why oh why do I even try?

And someday you'll call me when you're alone on your coconut shell telephone
And I will answer and ask why
Is this aloha hello or aloha goodbye?

You can't hop a train to Hawaii
And I can't catch you on the fly
You can't hop a train to Hawaii oh why oh why do I even try?
Track Name: Mayonnaise
Well the people at the coffee shop they tell me that I'm good enough
They tell me that I have a way with words
And my friends say just keep practicing
Some day you will learn how to sing
And I don't care if I I'm in key
I just want to be heard

If diffidence was an instrument then
I could play an instrument
I'd know every scale from the ups and downs the breakdowns
For if I weren't so reticent
You'd know my chords and choruses are just a substitution for healthy communication

I know I'm not a virtuoso
I don't have a special gift
I'd hesitate to call what I do 'art'
And my friends say it just takes a while someday you will find your style
And I don't care what style it is but I don't want to be awful

And as a species we've evolved
To a point we can express
The intricacies that go into
self expression and contempt
And maybe this is why I often find myself alone
Don't know if I'm a poet or a monkey with a microphone

And that's why I'm a musician
Track Name: This Is Not A Song About Cheating
Well I had a dream
That I was dancing one day
Down in the bayou
On a warm summer's day
Like vaudeville ragtime
With top hat attire
And when I woke in the morning
My clothes were on fire

But if you knew if you knew
You would say wasn't I right all along
If you knew what I'd done today
You'd let me burn up in the flames you'd say that I'd done wrong

I had a dream that I was alone
And all my deeds had been etched into stone
Well my premonition it came true
Despite everything I gave to you
And when I'd given in to my desire
I woke up with my house on fire

But if you knew if you knew
You would say wasn't I right all along
If you knew what I'd done today
You'd let me burn up in the flames you'd say that I'd done wrong
So I will take my secrets to the grave
I'll lock them up so far away
Swallow the key, break the lock
'Cause I don't think that you could take it
If you knew if you knew it would break your heart in two
Track Name: I'm Going To The Special Hell
Lord knows I didn't get these get these bruises from sitting on church pews
I've been asking asking for them since the day that I met you
And I've been so afraid to let my guard down and let you fuck me around

But I begged for these these bruises just so I could heal
And I'm filled with contempt for the the things I don't feel
I'm blissfully bandaged I'm broken and bruised
With the sneaking suspicion that I'm being used

Lord knows I didn't get these bruised knees from praying
And if you read between the fine lines of what I'm saying you'll see I cover up my scars with the new ones that I like

Lord knows I didn't get these rings on my neck from choking on my words
And if I'm slurring them now it's what I deserve for being so goddamn helpless

I fall down too much
It's better when I'm falling for you
I fall down too much
It's better when I'm falling for you
I hurt myself too much
It's better when I'm falling for you
I hurt myself too much
It's better when I'm hurting for you
Track Name: Roll This Up And Smoke It
My dad says mistakes are lessons
And that failures the way that we learn
But experience has gotten me nowhere
Just like the diploma I never earned

I dropped out of every commitment
That I ever made to myself
So now when my relatives ask about me
My mom says "she's still got her health"

I could tell you that I don't resent you at all
But we both know that isn't true
But believe me I'm being sincere when I say
That I don't still think about you
And if I haven't changed since you knew me
In high school then why should I care
'Cause if bygones are bygones then people can move on but you haven't gotten there

Fool me once but it didn't turn out well
I fought hard to get where I am
But fool me again I'm a sucker for lust
And it didn't work out like I planned
So now I'm stuck in a job I hate
Asking my friends to commiserate
But they're sick of my whining
And I'm sick of trying to please everyone
So I'll get up and run

I could tell you that I don't resent you at all
But we both know that isn't true
But believe me I'm being sincere when I say
That I don't still think about you
And if I haven't changed since you knew me
In high school then why should I care
'Cause if bygones are bygones then people can move on but you haven't gotten there

I've become an expert at packing
My lifestyle somewhat nomadic
And I routinely deny the assistance
When someone else offers to carry my baggage
My dad says mistakes are lessons
But I always have been slow to learn
So when you ask me "my dear, do you mind if I smoke?"
I said, "I don't care if you burn"
Track Name: Manifest Destiny
I don't want to think about what will happen
When the river beds dry up and die
And I don't want to think about what will be when the last tree falls and there are no bees
I don't want to choke on the toxic smoke from Monsanto's monopolisation
And they've been killing the soil and drilling for oil since the Anglo colonisation

Til the last sheep's slaughtered
They will not rest til our sons and our daughters
Are all bound in chains in a world that's sustained by a self serving capitalist dream
And I really want to believe we can pull it together that all you need is love but some days it seems there's just too much to hate and no matter how hard I try I just can't love enough

I don't want to think about what will happen when our rights are signed away to the trade organisations
And I don't want to think about what might be if none of are left to march on the streets
And I don't want to be a part of the problem of racist and classist segregation
I don't want to be a part of any of that
So I'll bite back and fight back

Til the last sheep's slaughtered
They will not rest til our sons and our daughters
Are all bound in chains in a world that's sustained by a self serving capitalist dream
And I really want to believe we can pull it together that all you need is love but love didn't save us from manifest destiny and we can't seem to not fuck it up

If a tree falls in the forest
Does anyone hear it fall
Well no ones gonna be there to hear it because we'll all be extinct
Track Name: This Is My Costume
On Halloween I ran across a black cat
A stroke of bad luck in my path
And I spent it watching the upper class lighten their pockets
I haven't taken my pills but I've been doing lots of other drugs that I can't afford
And I could blame it on post traumatic stress but it's probably because I'm bored
But as I was coming down from the rocks you were kicking them
Climbing down from the ladder you walked under it
Another seven years I can handle this

And sometimes I like to look up at the starts and let the white light drown out the rattle of the boxcars
Knowing I'll never cross this point again in the stream of time
In Texas we wandered and snuck into the orange show
Lit a fire and got lost in the warm glow
And on the Mississippi you said you'd really miss me
And I have to say I agree
I will miss me

I wrote a note and it had four letters
Told myself that I would forget her
It didn't send, I didn't care
In Atlanta I almost forgot what happened in Vegas
So close to death I think I'm gonna make it
But tomorrow is day of the dead, I feel halfway there

And sometimes I like to look up at the starts and let the white light drown out the rattle of the boxcars
Knowing I'll never cross this point again in the stream of time
In Texas we wandered and snuck into the orange show
Lit a fire and got lost in the warm glow
And on the Mississippi you said you'd really miss me
And I have to say I agree
I will miss me

We all live under the docks of New Orleans the docks of New Orleans the docks of New Orleans
We all live off of coffee rice and beans coffee rice and beans coffee rice and beans
Track Name: Accident Prone
I guess some people are just accident prone
The day I met you you were nursing a hand covered in blood
A pack of hungry dogs, a bottle of intimidation
Tobacco smoke and an ill times proposition

But you were my shelter in the storm
And you threw it all away and left me torn
You were my shelter in the storm
But I know you only love me when you need an extra layer to keep you warm

I guess some people are just accident prone
How could anyone else break the same arm three times in a row
And when you hurt your foot I found my Achilles heel
If you're gonna play with demons you've got to seal the deal

But you were my shelter in the storm
And you threw it all away and left me torn
You were my shelter in the storm
But I know you only love me when you need an extra layer to keep you warm

But I still choke on every other face that isn't yours
Trying to occupy my time since I refuse to be ignored
And using karma as my excuse I'll leave a trail of hearts and lies
I'll love everyone but never cut ties
Because this is not a love song
This is a song about addiction
This is not desire it's an unfilled prescription
I wrote you letters that I bet you didn't read
I made little haiku poems about the birds and the bees
But you'll never know you'll never know you'll never know you'll never know you'll never know you'll never know
What nights I spent alone with these dreams

I guess some people are just accident prone
I guess I'm one of them
I guess I probably should have known
Some of us have a knack for injuring ourselves a lot
I'm pretty good at it
And that makes two of us